You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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