Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
