I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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