i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
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