He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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