I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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