help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
