she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I take back everything I said about communal showers
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
