btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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