Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
