Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
