I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
