The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
All the doctor said was why
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
