he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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