is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize