i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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