everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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