i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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