well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
