This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
