17 year olds will be the death of me.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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