He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
