I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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