So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
