He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Randomize
