The brown eye won't let me do that either.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
