the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize