the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
