I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
