Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
