like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he fucked my hip out of place.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
