I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
