So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my shit smells like andre
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
