i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
