am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
