she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
