woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
