Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
