I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
