Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
