Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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