M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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