He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize