We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
