i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
