I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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