what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
