she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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