we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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