He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
