So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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