Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize