she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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