It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
