So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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