we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
