Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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