If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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