I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
