Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm both gender and math confused
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