Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
