I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you win again, gameday.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
