I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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