are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
