I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
