sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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