That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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