god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he thought i was a dude.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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